In the big scheme of things it would be obvious that the reason that Bret's mother came to see him was to align the planets in such a way as to destroy an alien civilisation that would one day become so powerful it would represent the greatest threat the earth had ever seen! (yeah! like an alien race is going to be interested in the earth...a planet filled with people so self obsessed and lame that they can't open a tin if it doesn't have a ring pull on it!) 

However for Bret and anyone else who cared it was one of those things that was just annoying and unnecessary...especially when you just wanted to chill out and relax and discuss the finer things in life...such as how buff the chicks were in the latest episode of that otherwise irritating everyday soap which is totally out of sync with the rest of the world (there was this big sink right, and we are over here and the crappy soap is over there!). Anyway we rejoin Bret after his mother has been there for two minutes...

"I hope your room is tidy", shrieked Bret's Mother up the stairs, "or there will be no pudding for you you naughty boy!"

"Mum, I'm old enough to answer for myself now you know, I've quashed many an uprising of the forces of darkness, dealt with creatures from other dimensions and hoards of bum-bandit entertainers intent of taking over the world. What makes you think I need to be nursed anymore?", sighed Bret the tired old Bastard.

"You left the toilet seat up dear!", said Bret's Mother.

It was hopeless. Bret's Mother was going to give him grief as long as she was there. He decided that something would have to be done to get rid of her. He didn't even know why she had turned up in the first place.

"Mum, why exactly are you here?", asked Bret. 
"Well...I'm getting married!"
"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!", screamed Bret, "who to? When did you decide this?"
"Well, my fiancé is a wonderful man, you'll love him really and it was decided a long time ago."
"How long ago?"
"About two hours ago"
"I.....see" said Bret the actually I don't really understand what the hell you are going on about but I will say "I see" because I can't find the words to fully express the total bloody mess you are causing me and my life to have Bastard.

Bret thought for a moment. He supposed that It wouldn't be that bad that his mother would be marrying someone new...it had been 20 years since his father had died...

"Hang on...", said Blow-up-bannana-boy, "You said that your parents were both dead...if that was the case how come your Mum is here now and alive!."
"Its a long story...",said Bret
"We obviously have a long time, as the plot of this episode has not fully been explored yet, but hopefully it will soon be revealed to us...and it will shake the foundations of our society profoundly!....almost as much as my bowel movements."
"Ok" said Bret, "This is my Stepmother."
"That's not a long story!"
"No but the build up was great!"
Blow-up-banana-boy was beginning to think that this would go on forever when just at that moment there was a whining noise which came from the back of the house.

"What was that?" said everyone in a 'gosh we have to say the things we are thinking otherwise people won't realise waste of space American TV episode' kind of a way

They all ran around to the back garden where to their surprise there was ....absolutely nothing different from normal.

"Well that was a total waste of time!" said Blow-up-banana-boy.
"Yeah, and we were just about to find out who my Mum is going to marry!" said Bret.
"She is going to marry me..."  said a voice from behind them.

They all twisted around to see....

....Chris Evans!

"......fuck" said Bret.

Is there no end to the pain that Bret will suffer. Is he destined to be the step-step-son of the worlds biggest wanker. Who knows, who really cares anymore...well you do, you idiots!!! Are there any further plot twists that can happen in this story....probably...find out next episode.