A fridge is a handy thing. It keeps your food edible for longer, it allows you to enjoy a cold beer after a long day instead of a warm beer that feels like its just come out of your dick and of course it keeps your lifeless body pinned to the floor when it is thrown at you at high velocity! Bret was wondering what it would be like to be a sausage. (Obviously a side effect of having a fridge on your head! )Anyway...to recap the story, just in case any of you forgot it. Which could be quite easy. Bret was supposed to be protecting Julian Faggbotilopotomus (doesn’t that name get on your nerves?) However in a moment of weakness Bret’s concentration had been broken by Julian himself. The result of which was that Bret had a heavy piece of kitchen furniture in his ear. (well technically on his ear! Bit of a bugger really). Suffice to say that the story continues.......

"I’m hungry" thought Bret to himself "this could be a big problem"

....much later...

"I need to take a piss" Bret thought to himself "this could be a problem also"

....much later....

"I’m going to miss Playbus!" Bret shouted to himself, he exploded out of the fridge and ran to the Television........which was broken!

"I’m gonna kill that King Kriscruchio the third and the Horribly Violent Gang. Nobody gets between me and my quality television programmes."

.......Much later after Bret had checked his numerous underworld sources for any sign of Kriscruchio (ie. the Thompson Local directory) He found the location of his Top secret base. It was Safeways!

Bret took a quick look around the premises......he found a waste disposal chute at the back entrance and climbed up it into the building (He could have saved himself a lot of time and effort if he had just tried the back door but no, he had to do the hero bit and climb up a pipe to look cool!). Once inside Bret switched on his patented "Pringles Positioner" and made his way into the heart of the Evil ones lair. After rounding a corner he noticed a noise coming from a room to his left. He went inside.....Sitting on a chair was Julian he was crying his eyes out!

"Oh Bret you’ve come here to save me!" he sobbed "thank you so much, I am forever in your debt!"

Just then The Horribly Violent gang burst in through the door.

"So....Bret the Bastard you have come to save Julian.....is he really worth it, he is a worm, an annoyance to humanity, I’m only surprised that we havn’t killed him yet.....but then if we did it would sort of make the plot a bit pointless wouldn’t it" said Kriscruchio laughing.

"You broke my television!" sobbed Bret "I’m gonna kill you"

"Not yet you’re not" said Kriscruchio "Get him!"

The Horribly Violent gang surrounded Bret ready to pounce

"Oh by the way" said Bret "Stealing Fridges is not a good way to commit crime"

"Why not?"

"Because you’re a Fucking Wanker!"

"Sounds like a good argument to me!" said Kriscruchio "now its time for you to die!"

"Wrong you fat arsed excuse for a master criminal......Its time that you all learned the truth. You are not the most Violent Gang in the world!"

"What!....how can this be?"

"Well it’s quite easy really.....do you want a Pringle?..."

"Ok Thank you...in fact I’ll have the whole packet!" said Kriscruchio

"Anyway....about your gang...I mean....lets face it ......you steal fridges and demand Pringles in return....what sort of violent person does something as dumb as that?"

"Errr......"

"Exactly....and by the way Kriscruchio......"

"Yes"

"That packed of Pringles you are eating is actually a Safeway savers packet of Shite-o-crisps!"

"But they make me very ill"

"That’s right!"

"But my doctor said if I was to eat another packet of them that I would explode!"

"Oh dear!" said Bret sarcastically.

Kriscruchio screamed as his body started to inflate. Needless to say Bret ran for the exit, closely followed by Julian (but not that closely...)

"Thanks for saving me!" said Julian

"Bollocks to you!" said Bret "I was hoping they’d have killed you already!"

"Fooled by the Old fake Pringle trick" sighed Kriscruchio just before he exploded. (How anyone can sigh while they are exploding is beyond me)

Safeways exploded just as the police arrived. The Police Chief was the first on the scene.

"Well as you have managed to kill all of the Horribly Violent Gang destroy Safeways and cause a hole in the ozone layer, Julian doesn’t have to testify anymore.....er......good work Bret!"

"Thanks....I think I’m going to take it easy for a while!.....oh... Julian"

"Yes Bret, thank you so much, thank you .....want a game of eye spy?"

"Ok.......I spy with my little eye...something beginning with X"

"Errrr..........xylophone?.....X-ray?"

"No........Fridge!"

"Wha......!!!"

Just then a fridge came crashing down onto Julian’s head.

"There is a God" said Bret walking home whistling to himself.