My name is Bret and these are my stories. Everything here is true, every single word of it.

They will offend you!. You will be shocked and horrified and possibly aroused!. Some of this may even cause you to vomit, to loose your lunch, to blow chunks of steaming spew over your computer keyboard in a fountain of gastric acid, cursing the day you, your parents, your parents parents, your parents parents parents, and the neighbours of your parents worst enemies second cousin were ever born!

What the fuck!


Bret T. Bastard

† Except everything which is complete fabrication, lies and out and out deciet .